INDISPUTABLE FACTS
In a recent news article published by Babylon Bee they claim that experts “Don’t Know” what is causing everyone to suddenly collapse and often die of a thing. Recently there has been a lot of controversy about something that is causing people to suddenly drop dead. There have been several social media conspiracy theorists posting a variety of false things claimed to be the cause of the deaths.
In one post on social media conspiracy theorists show a series of news commentators and TV hosts sniffing, what appears to be a shoe, through a television screen and then dropping dead. The caption reads “the smell of soccer shoes made the televsion host faint“.
We consulted several experts on video efficacy as well as consulted a renowned sabatumodorologist (Dr. Stinkitz) at Stanford’s department of shoe smells. The expert on video efficacy said that the video is defiantly working but the depiction is misinformation and mostly likely not possible. He went on to add that it could be Russian disinformation financed by the Trump Campaign. Dr. Stinkitz made the point that it’s highly unlikely that the smell could go through the screen and cause these tragic events.
As the experts sort through the most likely causes (climate change, racism, Chritian Nationalism) it is advised to avoid men with bleached hair and beards with a shoe in their/him/her/they/it’s hands until the issue and a cause has been identified. We believe this theory to be false and not the thing that is causing the deaths.